In all my years as a Tarot reader I learnt one very important thing. Relationships is what makes the world go round. A good relationship can make the rest of our lives seem better and more bearable. Finances, jobs, other relationships, health and spiritual growth just seem to flow better if your heart is happy.

Do not get me wrong. You can choose not to be in a romantic relationship for various reasons and that is good. I myself chose to avoid love for two years after my divorce, not because I needed to heal but simply because I needed to find myself again and work on my spiritual path. My greatest spiritual strides were made in those two years and it was amazing. You might choose a relationship time-out due to work, travel or a thousand other reasons. The only reason that is not good is if you avoid relationships out of fear. Fear can be debilitating for other areas of your life as well. You essentially close your heart chakra and your path to joy if you are scared of falling in love.

It is unfortunate that most of us must kiss many frogs before we find our perfect match. Remember we all incarnated to learn lessons and pay karmic debt. Since life is and always was a bit of a minefield where romance is concerned, we built up karma in previous lives. Your happily ever after can only step in after you negated karma and learnt your lessons. We all want that perfect relationship with our twin soul. And it can happen. Very often though it is our twin soul that incarnated with us to teach us our hardest lessons. It is an agreement we made before incarnating and is very hard to understand when we are here without our memories.

In broad strokes we can divide people interested in romance into three categories. Those who are alone due to fear of commitment and love. Those who are alone but playing the field and searching for the right partner very hard. Those who are in committed relationships. Obviously all three these can be split into many different scenarios. 

Let us look at the first category. If you are on your own due to choice you need to examine your motives. Are you really too busy or very happy on your own? Did this choice follow after a bad break-up? Is there a possibility that you are still emotionally attached to someone? Ask yourself the hard questions. Make sure you are choosing for the correct reasons. We tend to lie to ourselves very often. It is hard to admit it to ourselves when we did that. Remember what I said about fear? If fear is your motive you must work on overcoming it. Think about the future. Do you still want to be in this situation ten years from now? Remember the fear will grow stronger and bigger just like anything else you feed and nurture. Eventually it will flow into other areas of your life and slowly poison your system. 

If you found you are still emotionally attached to someone you need to take steps to detach. A cord cutting may be in order or a forgiveness ritual could do the trick. If you are the only party still invested emotionally and the other person moved on long ago this is especially important since you are feeding someone else energy they no longer need or require. 

In the second scenario where you are searching for love you have chosen to step out of the 'safe' zone and take some risks. Now here I just need to make a statement. One night stands means you are halfway between this category and the first one. Why? Because you are not searching for a partner but rather a distraction. Sex is not enough to keep you from being lonely. Instead you are forming cords between your sacral chakra and that of strangers you know nothing about. If they have a bad day and are strong enough, they can literally start draining your energy. Do you really want to gift your precious energy to complete strangers? One night stands are simply an avoidance tactic and a dangerous one at that. It is your choice to get involved in this lifestyle if you wish. But please make sure you often clear cords and detach so that you do not harm yourself.

The search for a partner can be exhilarating one day and take you down in the dumps the next. It can be a long process or you can find several possibles very fast. Here it is important to be aware and listen to your gut. Be aware of people around you. Is your best friend really there to be a friend or does he/she secretly want more? Is the person always at the water cooler the same time as you really just fetching water? My life-partner is a great people watcher. He told me about two people on the Gautrain the same time as him every afternoon. Between them it started with glances and then greetings. It evolved into them chatting every day and now, a year later, they seem to be engaged. So be aware... The right person might be next to you already.

Also consider your own interests. Are you a reader or hiker? Chances of you finding the right person in a bar or club is slim. Join like-minded people and groups. It will lead you to more appropriate people and you might even find new friends along the way since you opened yourself.

The last category you might think you made it. Wrong. The hard work starts now. I have one big problem with marriage. It often seems to me that people sit back after they got married and just allow things to drift along. I am not saying the institution of marriage is wrong, I am saying it is making people lazy. They are fooled into a false sense of security by a piece of paper symbolizing commitment. A marriage is easy to dissolve unfortunately. Too easy actually. From the day you slip those rings onto each other's fingers you should recommit each day. Work on repairing small glitches that springs up. Do not ignore them. Do not try to change your partner. You married him or her for what they were, leave them as is or you might find yourself fall out of love with the person you created through your changes. A relationship always goes through many changes and periods of growth. Grow with it and grow with your partner. Do not remain stagnant.

Because of the love mine-field out there I decided to do a short series of specialized internet only readings for clients of The Crystal Spirits. These will be done at a special price for a limited time until the 6th of May. I do the reading with one of three different decks and type up an advice report for you.
The readings you can choose from:
* What should I do next to find love?
* What should I do next to move my relationship to the next level?
* What steps should I take to overcome my fear?
* What steps can we take to improve our marriage or life-partnership? (For committed couples)

You can e-mail me on readings@engitime.com for more information, details of the information I require from you and payment details.

Enjoy your weekend!
Charmaine



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